Saturday, October 4, 2008


It's been exactly one year since I began this blog "a solitary grace." At the time, it marked a new chapter in my life--a life without cancer, without a husband, without Robert. I began it with the idea of surviving loss, settling for peace over joy and a life alone.

But, recently, someone asked me, "Do you feel like Robert is still with you?"
And, surprisingly, my first thought was, "I hope not."
Because I hope he isn't, I hope he isn't caught up in the petty and small things that run my living life. I hope he isn't with me, because that would mean he was worrying about me. I hope if he is anywhere, he's sitting on a beautiful beach having a grand time--knowing I'll join him when I'm ready.

So things have changed this past year. Or perhaps, it would be more truthful to say I have realized things have not changed. The things that filled my life--my work, my friends, my family--are still with me and still bring me happiness. That life, even without Robert, is still full of richness.

And with that, I think it is time to close this particular blog. From now on, I will post at gracenotes( and no longer write here at "a solitary grace." Please visit me there. Because if this last year has taught me anything, it is that I am not solitary and grace is not found alone.